From Argentina to London, Paris, Barcelona: Betina

“I lived with my parents. And then my husband. And then my daughter. And this is the first time I am living on my own.”

Betina grew up in Rosario, Argentina. When she was 16, her family moved to Buenos Aires, but she never felt truly comfortable there. She missed her hometown and her best friend, who still lived there (and still does, actually).

Instead of moving back to Rosario after graduating from university, she moved across the ocean to London. She lived in London for 3 years, but a family tragedy brought her back to Argentina.

Almost 20 years later, Betina spent a week in London with her daughter on holiday. She ended up staying for a few months, working remotely (before remote working was a thing!) before she had to go back in Argentina to finish a work project.

When she resigned from her position, she followed her daughter to Paris. And then, she moved by herself to Barcelona.

She made moves for love. For family. For work.

And finally, for herself.

Some things worked out. Some things didn’t.

This is Betina’s story about leaving home and finding home.

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How did you end up moving to London?

I met my husband during a trip to London. I was there with my family. He was working in the hotel I was staying in and that’s how we met. I lived in Buenos Aires and I then studied at university. And when I graduated, I moved to London because he was living there.

When I moved to London we were pretty serious. We were not engaged, but we were in a pretty serious relationship.

How long did you live in London?

I lived in London for about three years. I was very young. I was very young and he was very young too. I was living the dream of getting married and the house and the baby. Even though I was already a lawyer, I didn't care about that. At that moment, I think my dream was to have a family, to build a family.

Then I was back in Argentina because my father had a heart attack. My family called me so I had to go back. It was an overnight decision. I went back with my daughter, a suitcase, and a nappy bag. All my things stayed in London. And then, well, the marriage kind of ended due to this circumstance. So I stayed in Argentina.

And I stayed very, very sad. Because I think it was the end of a project that I really care about. A family is not like any other project. I think family is very important. And for me it was extremely difficult to lose my father and to lose the family I wanted to build at the same time. It was really hard, really, really hard. But well, life moves on.

At some point though, you decided to move abroad again. What sparked that?

Well, in fact, I always thought of going back to London. But it took me a long time to be able to go back there.

In 2014, my daughter had studied to be a professional pâtissière. Not like me. I don't know how to make toast. I never cooked. And she cooks like an angel. She started to go to cooking lessons when she was seven years old, I think. Then she wanted to do it professionally and she took the best course that was available in Buenos Aires. At the end of the course, the tradition is to take a trip to Paris in order to study at Lenôtre (I think at that moment it was Lenôtre). So of course I enrolled her in the trip and I decided to go with her. And to go to London.

The idea was three days in London, and then 10 days in Paris, another week in London, and then back to Buenos Aires. We stayed at a hotel that was crossing Hyde Park. And I sat every morning having breakfast, looking through the window and fantasizing, What if I stay? What if I stay? What if I stay? And I spoke with my only Argentinian friend in London. We met for a coffee and I said, “I’m thinking about saying, is that crazy?” And I was expecting her to say, “Oh my God, you are completely crazy. You're out of your mind.” And she said, “No, it's not crazy at all. It took almost 20 years to be back. It's perfectly normal.”

We were supposed to go back to Argentina on a Sunday. And that Saturday, I got up very early. I was the first one at the breakfast hall. And then I went for a walk. And when I came back to the hotel, I told my daughter we were staying, at least for a while. I stayed there for a couple of months.

It was very …How can I explain the feeling? It was a healing decision because I could build a new London for myself. I had this fantasy when I was looking at the people getting into the park to jog or to walk. And my fantasy was doing the same.

Finding an apartment was an adventure. It was all an adventure. I felt so alive. My daughter was a bit scared; I was not scared at all.

How were you able to afford staying in London? And didn’t you have a job in Argentina that you were supposed to get back to?

I had my dream job. So the first thing I did was to call my boss at that time. And I always say that she was ahead of her time because she told me, “Okay, you can stay. And you can work from there. But you have to do office hours. So look for a place with a good internet, buy yourself a good phone.” And she was amazing. She's an amazing woman. I was very lucky. But I could do my job from there. My job was writing and researching and this was my job. So I did.

Why did you only stay for a few months? And where did you go?

I went back to Argentina, mainly because of my job. I had a big event that I was organizing and I didn't want to miss it. So I went back because of my job. I was in the parliament—I was a legislative advisor. That was my work. It was the perfect job for me. And I still miss it. It's a job that allows you to make an impact on people.

And then there was an election and I was invited to resign.

When that happened, I decided to follow my daughter. I followed my daughter to Paris.

What is the best thing about living in Paris and what was the biggest challenge?

The best thing about Paris is Paris. Paris is amazing. I mean, I never stopped being overwhelmed by the beauty of that city.

I used to speak French, but for some reason I forgot completely. I couldn't speak a word. I was able to get by, but barely. If you are thinking about moving to Paris, it's very important—and this is something that I think I criticize myself for. If you are moving to a country, you need to learn the language. And there are many possibilities. And you have to. And you have to get in contact with the locals. And you have to learn. Sometimes, for example, you say something in French and they immediately correct you or they laugh. I had these kinds of situations, but I don’t care.

What I did was to become a member of the American Library. The American Library in Paris is a big institution. It's amazing. It's an amazing place. The staff is amazing and you have all the books and you have reading groups, workshops, writing groups. I joined because I needed to connect. I was in Paris and I needed to have some kind of life outside my virtual life—everything was on Zoom. I became a member and I enrolled in a reading group and that was a very good decision.

So I mostly got by speaking in English. Because I had a block for French. I don't know. It was difficult for me, that part. The language was difficult.

Do you think that's why you didn't stay in Paris? Is language why you moved on to Barcelona?

I think language was a big thing. Yes, I think language was.

What’s the best thing about living in Barcelona and the most challenging thing?

Well, honestly. There are not many challenging things in Barcelona because Barcelona is a beautiful city. And it’s friendly. And I speak the language (more or less). In Barcelona, they speak Catalan, but they also speak Spanish. They don't mind speaking Spanish—all the signs and everything is in Catalan and in Spanish too. I don’t speak a lot of Catalan, but I understand. I am starting to understand.

How do you meet people and make friends in Barcelona?

I have met some very nice people here. You are meeting people here, for example, at the hairdresser. I’m working online and one good place to meet people is the co-working spaces. And here in Barcelona it's amazing. They're everywhere. There are many libraries here too, I'm a member of the library as well.

I think if you want to make friends in Barcelona, it's not difficult. I mean, you just need to join a reading group, a writing course and there are so many foreigners. It’s easy.

As a woman who is in her 50s, single, still working. What advice would you give to another woman in her 50s, single and still working who is sort of like, “I think maybe living in another country would be interesting?”

You just have to be sort of open. Open to the adventure. Open to the experience. It's all about the experience.

Of course, when you move, you gain things and you lose things. You gain adventure, you gain experience, you lose familiarity, you lose your roots.

But really, we are living in a fluid era. And I think it's a good moment for us. Women in our fifties. We can move around. This is something that was not possible for our mothers or grandmothers.

Join in the conversation in the comments—ask questions, share experiences, get ideas, get inspired, get clarity.

Because leaving home is hard. Talking to people who've done it makes it feel less overwhelming. And more fun.

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We also talked about:

• What she thinks might be the biggest challenge for someone moving to Europe. It was her biggest challenge in both France and Spain. It was also something I had trouble with in Portugal.

• Whether she feels “old” as a woman over 50 in Barcelona, which she describes as “a paradise for the young.”

• Being an Argentinian football fan. While living in London.

And the time a celebrity smiled at her in Notting Hill and if it weren’t for an Italian tourist, this whole story might have turned out differently. (And no, the celebrity was not David Beckham).

Paid subscribers can access the entire conversation 👇🏼.

Watch the entire interview by clicking play on the video below. Or listen to the podcast.

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Good news!

If you want to connect with Betina, you can find her:

• on Substack at thecreativeadvocate

• on her website at betinacunado.com

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