From the US to Paris: Ann
When 6 months turns into 12 years.
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When Ann completed her masters in international business and law in 2013, she applied for a program at La Sorbonne in Paris. She thought she’d be there for six months and then return to the US. Twelve years later, she is still there.
Why?
How?
And what has she learned about living in France? And about herself?
I hope you enjoy Ann’s story about leaving home and finding home. In Paris.
Prefer to watch or listen to the conversation? Click here.
So, when you were growing up, like, did you always think that you would want to live in another country someday?
Honestly, when I was growing up, I grew up in a very white, suburban town outside of Boston. But for some reason I never felt at home. I felt like there was something more out there for me. I loved the people, my friends, my family. I think Boston is such a great city, especially for even internationals to come and study at and to live. It's really such a great city. However, for me I never felt like I was fully myself or at home in the US. Maybe it was the mentality about certain things. But I knew that there was more out there.
So when I was doing my studies in international business, I started meeting more international people, of course. So that opened up my mind to like: Must be something out there for me, you know. So while I was talking to some international friends, they were like: Why don't you come to Italy? Why don't you come to Spain? Why don't you come to France? And actually I had an ex-boyfriend who was French and also when I traveled seven months in Asia, my roommates were French. So I was like: okay, I'm already accustomed to being surrounded by more French people and I know how they kind of work. So I was like: maybe I'll feel comfortable going to France, apart from the other countries.
That's why I came to France. It didn't feel like home in the US, and I feel much more at home in France than I ever did growing up.
Do you know why? What is it about France that makes you feel like it's your place?
First off, I think it was kind of like a restart for me too, in a way. Where I have the feeling that I was told to do this and to be like that. To dress this way. To… I don't know…. I feel like I had to pretend to be something in the US. And I don't like pretending to be who I am. I want to be who I am. And I want to explore who I am as a person.
I think that moving abroad was the best thing for me.
What was scarier for you: when you first moved abroad thinking it was only gonna be like six months? Or when you were there and you were like, Oh, I'm gonna stay. Which of those two times did you feel more anxiety or did you not feel anxiety at all?
To be honest, I didn't feel that much anxiety when I left directly from the US. Just because I thought I was gonna be there for six months. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna see my family again. And, back then I had a boyfriend for some time. So I felt comfortable in Paris.
But I think it really hit me when we broke up and I went on my own for the first time. Because that also cut off some relations that I was so accustomed to at the beginning of my life in France. I think it was kind of starting over. I also had my own friends as well, so they were a great emotional support system that helped me through all that situation. But I remember sitting in my new apartment studio and I had a moment of being like, Oh, I'm officially alone in Paris. You know what I mean? I had my friends around and everything like that. But I was like, This is your journey now.
Was that exciting for you or was it scary?
It was a bit scary, to be honest. And I think that's a very normal reaction to have for people who come over alone.
Right now, I’m in Canary Islands. I’m here temporarily. Actually, this is much more scary than I had initially thought. I don’t know anyone here.
Sometimes there’s feelings of loneliness at certain moments too, of course. Because you don’t have your support system here. And that’s really a big thing for moving abroad. It’s like okay, I have my family, my friends. They’re not here with me. Where can I go to, you know.
How do you make friends?
I made friends in Paris easily, just because I had already made quite a few during my studies in Boston. So that was fairly easy.
Shanghai was also quite easy too, just because I had my classmates and then I had my roommates. So it was easy to connect.
Here in Gran Canaria? I don't know yet, I mean it's my first week here.
I was debating if I was going to be alone and get an apartment for myself or find a roommate or go into a co-living situation. I was debating on it and I was like, Well, if I'm going to meet people I might as well be in a roommate type of situation. It's like the best way to go about doing things. So I decided on that. I'm going to be here temporarily, so it's fine. My roommate’s really nice. He actually owns a co-living and co-working space. And he's into sports and stuff like that. So I think those are ways that I'm gonna try to connect with people.
I know it's not easy for everyone moving abroad. I mean everyone has different personalities. I'm lucky to have this type of personality where I can just literally talk to any stranger. It's really important when you move abroad. It's uncomfortable at first, but once you have even just a few people that you can kind of reach out to, those people obviously know other people. So it's like it expands on to meeting others. Essentially just one person changes an entire situation.
What advice would you give people who are thinking of moving abroad?
I think the biggest thing that I would probably give advice about is to prepare yourself ahead of time. I think it's really important to have the right amount of knowledge and research before taking a plunge and changing your entire life. Of course, if you're only gonna be here for a few months, fine, you don't need to do that. But if you're moving abroad indefinitely, it's gonna be important.
Also, make sure that you're emotionally aware of what this entails in terms of moving abroad too, that you're literally leaving an entire life behind. Your friends, your family, et cetera. And there are going to be emotional challenges in terms of how you're feeling. Because also administrative wise (especially if you're moving into France and also in Spain— anywhere, actually), administration is a nightmare. And it's usually in language that you do not know. So it's better to reach out and get help.
I think my main thing is: Do your research. And don't be afraid to ask for help. It's help that will make you thrive in a new country And it will also bring in new connections as well.
You're working with people all the time who are relocating and immigrating and ex-patting themselves. Are there things that you have seen that make people super successful? And then are there things that you see that people just seem to struggle and it's really hard?
For sure. I've worked with a lot of clients and I've been in their shoes before. I've seen every aspect of relocation. Some people struggle a lot with loneliness when they first arrive and getting integrated into the culture, not learning the language. I think that's one of the hardest things is integration into society.
What should people be aware of? What would help them integrate? Do you think they can start doing things to prepare themselves to integrate? Or is it just this mindset that you've got to just show up? What do you think?
Yeah, I think you can definitely prepare yourself. Going on to these Facebook groups or some type of expert groups and just connecting with people even before you move abroad. I know, for example, that there's a Facebook group for women, like women living in Paris, for example, or Indians living in France or Americans living in France. At least these people have been in the same situation as you have. They're from your own culture as well, so they understand you. And they can be a big help. So talking to people, knowing their pain points when they moved. This is going to prepare you a lot.
What's the number one thing someone can do to feel like they settle in faster?
Got a question for Ann? Did something in our conversation resonate with you?
Join in the conversation in the comments. Ask questions, share experiences, get ideas, get inspired, get clarity.
Because leaving home is hard. Talking to people who've done it makes it feel less overwhelming. And more fun.
Ann and I also talked about:
The easiest thing for her to adjust to when she moved to France. And what she found to be most difficult. (at around the 44 minute mark)
Learning French. How she went from zero to fluent. Spoiler: She says it was really hard. (around 46:30)
What her family and friends thought about her moving to Paris for 6 months and then never coming back. And how her staying in France has affected those relationships. (around 23 minutes)
How easy (or hard) it is for a foreigner to get a job in France. And the route you might want to explore if you’re in this situation. (around 39 minutes)
The different administrative processes you have to go through when you move to France, including getting a bank account, your health care card, and finding a place to live. (around the 44 minute mark)
A whole lot of questions you can ask yourself if you’re trying to figure out where to move. (around the 37:30 mark)
FYI, Ann does this for a living and has a whole list of things for you to consider when you have no idea what cities or part of the country you should even start looking at with respect to living in France.
These questions are also super useful if you’re not interested in France at all. They’ll help you narrow down who you are, what kind of life you want to be living, and what kind of things you should be looking for in a geographical location for your favorite version of your life to be taking place in.
What you can do before you move to prepare to be living abroad (around 52:30)
Wanna hear the entire conversation 👇🏼.
Watch the entire interview by clicking play on the video below. Or listen to the podcast.
Good news!
If you want to learn more about what Ann does to help people moving to France (and Spain), check out her website at EasyStart.me. Or connect with her on LinkedIn.
FYI, if you are seriously considering a move to France, Ann is an expert at helping people navigate the complex, behind the scenes details, like:
Selecting the right visa (not just the fastest one)
Navigating immigration timelines and work permits
Building airtight housing dossiers (rental applications) that landlords will accept
Helping you access healthcare, open a bank account, and register with French authorities
And giving you all kinds of support you need to get on your feet in a new country
If you need help, you can email her directly at: ann.delavictoria@easystart.me
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