From the USA to Mexico + Italy: Asia Dawn

A heartbreak. A shocking twist. And figuring it out as she goes.

Asia Dawn is a single mom, writer, and relationship coach for single women. Her expat journey started years before any of this came to be.

She was in her early thirties, fresh out of a 10 year relationship, when she bought a one way plane ticket to Ecuador. What started as a backpacking trip through Latin America, evolved into years of living in Mexico and Italy. And San Diego, California.

What I love about her story? Her expat journey isn’t moving in a straight line, directly from point A to point B. She shows us that it’s OK to return to where you started and regroup. And returning doesn’t mean you won’t leave again when you’re ready.

What I also love? She knows what it’s like to move and live abroad as a single woman, traveling and working and dating in Mexico and Italy. And what it means to figure out how and where to live with a 2 ½ year old daughter and a non-traditional family that she wants to keep as close as possible.

This is her story of leaving home and finding home. As many times as you want or need to.

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When did this whole expat moving abroad, living abroad idea—how did this all come about for you?

It all started with my divorce. It was a big heartbreak for me. I'll spare you all the details, but there was a good year where I was just miserable living and working in the U.S., going through my divorce. And I was like, Wait. I want to do something that makes me happy. What makes me happy? What would make me happy right now? And the answer was to travel.

I didn't know where. I was like, I just need to go. I need to go.

I was open to the whole world, I guess. With the caveat that I was really into the Spanish language. I was a double major in Business and Spanish and I wanted to go somewhere where I could use my skills.

I was getting ready to quit my job and do all of this, so I needed a budget friendly trip. I was looking for work exchanges, so I wouldn't have to pay for my lodging. I didn't want to start off in a hostel. Nothing against hostels. I did a lot of hostel stays on this trip. But I wanted to start off also in a community and with other people.

So there's a site called workaway. I don't even know how I found it. But I just went into the Latin America section and just said, I'm open to any country. And these are my skills. And I got contacted by a company in Ecuador saying, “We're looking for somebody who speaks English and Spanish and wants to work at a kid's camp. And you'll get free lodging and free breakfast and lunch.

I thought this was a really great way to start.

Did you think at the time that you were going to be gone forever? Did you have any kind of timeframe on it?

This is so funny. Anytime I go anywhere, I say, “I'm just going to go for as long as it feels good. Or until the money runs out.”

This first trip was “until the money runs out.” I set a budget for myself. And I said, I'm going to travel as long as I can on this. And I learned how to travel really, really cheaply in Latin America based on my backpacker friends that I met. It was very backpacker style.

So you're in Ecuador. You do the workaway thing. It's over. Did you come back to the US?

I met some really good friends in Ecuador and one of them said, “I'm going to go North into Columbia.” And I just was like, I'm going to go with this girl because she's hilarious. We've gotten really close. So we started traveling by bus. I traveled by bus from Ecuador all the way to Mexico. It ended up being almost a year long trip.

Were you looking for a place to settle down? Or were you really just having an adventure and traveling.

I was looking for a new home. I knew right away that I was just so happy to be abroad.

Even in Colombia, where I had the scariest experience of my entire life. I was like, I love it here. I could live here. I spent more than two months traveling around Colombia, and nearly a year total in Latin America. And each time I went to a country, I was like, Could I live here? Could I live here? And I felt that way about Colombia all the way up until I got to Mexico. And then it was like, No. Mexico for sure is the winner.

Why? What happened in Mexico that you were like, this is where I'm going to live?

I think all the reasons I loved about Colombia I also loved about Mexico, but it was closer to San Diego. Closer to home.

A friend from grad school is from Mexico City. And at the end of my trip, she hosted me and a couple of other girls from grad school. We all met and I got to live like a local. I got to experience what it was like to live there through her eyes, through her community. And she just told me, “Asia, this is where you want to live as a young single entrepreneur.”

I wanted to start my own business. I had that epiphany when I was traveling. And I was like, Okay, this is where I want to be.

So I went back to San Diego to regroup and then flew back.

Before you moved to Mexico City was there a big, burning, unknown question or unknown fear or worry that occupied your mind? And did it turn out to be as big of a deal as you thought it was going to be?

How did you make friends in Mexico City?

When I arrived, I booked an Airbnb with roommates—like a month long thing. I really got to settle in with them and through them, I met people. I just started meeting other people.

I really had two different lives. I kind of had my expat life, which was easier to fall into, honestly. And then I would go to these big lunches with a bunch of girls from Mexico and it was so fun. I would go on little trips with them. I had a small circle of Mexican girlfriends. I was introduced by that one girlfriend I had from grad school who kind of brought me into her circle.

It kind of takes that one connection because otherwise it can be a little challenging to get in with the more local scene.

Why did you leave Mexico City?

It was a combination of factors. It was a breakup. It was the pandemic. And a part of me that always, always, always wanted to go to Italy. I'm half Italian. I've gotten my citizenship. And I wanted to try living there. I was just afraid to make the leap.

During the pandemic, I was going on these walks with my roommate and I was like, “When this is over, we're going to Italy. We're going to go on the best girls trip ever.”

I was on a kundalini yoga retreat in Mexico sometime that summer of 2020 and I just started to tell friends that I want to go to Italy. And a friend sent me something they saw in a facebook group where someone was looking for people who speak some Italian, fluent English, and can help with marketing their new co-working, co-living space in Sicily as soon as things open up again. And I was like, Me, me, me, me. That's me.

I stayed there for a couple of months and just lived in this villa by the beach all by myself.

Where did you go after Sicily?

I found myself in Rome. I loved it there. I was convinced it was my home for the long run. I signed a year lease, which I've never done anywhere. I was living on my own in the heart, the city center, in Trastevere. It was the most beautiful studio.

I was like the happiest I've ever been. I just knew it was my place. I just knew.

And then I got pregnant. Surprise! I was completely shocked and I was like, I'm not leaving Rome. No one can make me leave Rome. I'm staying here and having the baby here.

My friends were like, “Hmm. You sure you don't want to be near family?”

My one year lease was actually coming to a close at a very good time for me to fly back to San Diego, have my daughter there, and regroup again and decide what was going to be next.

What was that like coming back to the U S after being gone for so long?

It's so weird. Every time I come back, I'm like, Oh, it's easy here. It's easy here. I kind of fall back into seeing friends and family. It feels good, but then I get bored and then I'm restless.

And I just know that deep inside, like I need to live abroad. Like something's always pulling me away, even though my family and my friends are there and I love them very much.

Your daughter is now 2 ½. Does that change the way you think about living abroad?

I feel like it changes everything. Her dad is Italian and we're not together, but we are co-parenting. And I want to keep our non-traditional family as close together as possible. But what does that look like? He can't legally live in the US and even if he could, I still don't feel like this is my place. And I wouldn't want to raise my daughter here.

I'm always thinking, What's the best for her. And I'm not feeling like San Diego is the best place to raise her right now. I'm still trying to figure out where is. And I'm like, Okay, let's just stay with family for a while and figure it out. And then you can always pivot. You can always make a change.

What advice, tips, tricks would you give to a single woman in her 30s who is thinking, I feel like I want to try living abroad? What like what advice or words of encouragement or warnings would you give her?

What advice, tips, tricks, encouragement, warnings, whatever, would you give to a woman in her early forties with a young child, who is also thinking, Can I do this? Have I given up my last chance to live abroad? Because how do I do it with a young child? What would you say to that woman?

I would tell her, “I'm still figuring it out. I'm figuring it out as I go.”

And I feel like it kind of comes back to the similar advice of: That feeling's never going to go away. And the longer you wait, the more complicated it potentially could become.

Also, this is something I'm still really working on because I believe it, but it's harder to put into practice: I'm always wanting to put my daughter first. I put her first, of course. But if I neglect my needs and my desires and my own happiness, she's going to see that. She's going to feel that. If I'm not a happy mom, that's not being the best mom I can be for her. So, if you're looking to make any kind of change, I also think that what's best for you is also going to be best for your daughter.

Good news!

If you want to connect with

Asia Dawn

or read more of her story, you can subscribe to her substack “The Next Chapter”.

Or follow her on Instagram.

And if you want to learn more about her coaching services, check out her website.

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WHAT ELSE DID WE TALK ABOUT?

Asia Dawn and I talked about a lot of other things, including:

• Whether she felt safe traveling by bus through South and Central America. Spoiler alert: Not really. Asia shared the story of the scariest experience of her life—surviving a bus hijacking in Colombia.

• Dating in Mexico and Italy.

• Money. How she funded her initial trip from Ecuador to Mexico City and how she is able to live and work from wherever she lands.

• Moving to a country where they speak another language. Whether her Spanish language skills were enough to not just get by in Mexico, but to really connect with people and build relationships. And why she thinks you need to speak a little Italian if you’re going to Italy.

• Why she didn’t return to Mexico City, a place she loved and planned to return to.

• The reasons she didn’t want to settle in Playa del Carmen.

• Whether the US and San Diego feel like home. And why she’d prefer to raise her daughter somewhere else.

• The hardest thing about living abroad.

• The greatest thing about living abroad.

And, what advice she’d give her younger self about heartbreak.

Paid subscribers can access the entire conversation 👇🏼 by clicking play on the video below.

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