From the USA to Portugal: Jacqueline
What do you do when you're living your best life and envisioning a bright future in Florida but your husband is determined to move to Europe?
In 2016, Jacqueline was a business owner, an artist, and an activist who was a newly elected official in her St. Augustine, Florida community. Her husband? Wanted to leave the US and move to Europe. She wasn’t so sure moving abroad aligned with the direction her life was taking.
Initially, she thought that she and her husband would probably be living separately (he would move and live in Europe and she would stay in Florida, visiting him for several months a year). But that’s not what happened.
Why did Jacqueline give up her career, sell a home she loved, leave her family and friends and move with her husband to Portugal? And does she have regrets?
This is her story.
What sparked the idea of moving to another country? Have you always wanted to move abroad?
Never once in my life had I ever thought about leaving the United States.
But I was in a marriage and I love my husband. And he's telling me, “We have to get out of the country.” And this is where the love story takes over.
It wasn't easy. I wasn’t sure why this had to happen. But I saw somebody that knew more than me, with more experience being that he was older than me, and this man was not kidding around. He saw something. And I needed to respect where somebody I loved very much was coming from. I said to him, “Well, I'll try this thing that you want to do.”
It was hard. I was so split. He bought us Eurail tickets in 2016 and we were on a flight landing at Heathrow, starting our tour in Oxford and for 90 days we went across 5 European countries, ending our time in Portugal. We were looking for the country we could live in.
And I'm telling myself we could live in 2 places at once. I'm not picking up stakes and leaving. I'm like, “Okay, we'll just be in 2 places at once, you know.
How did you choose Portugal as the country to settle in?
So you decide that you’re moving after that Eurail trip in 2016, but you didn’t actually move to Portugal until 2019. What are you doing in those 2 and a half years?
I went back to my regular life. Back to my work. I'm running my independent art studio for community art and learning. I'm a sole proprietor and I turned my studio into a place where we were running the campaign for Bernie Sanders. Back to regular life mode.
Paul locks himself in an office in our house and he doesn't come out. He's on the phone all day with the people that mediate the immigration process. He was going back and forth on the phone with every question he had. He just picked up the phone and asked all the questions and did the work. We had a whiteboard with the list of all the required documents we needed— FBI fingerprints, background checks. That thing was kind of intense. But he met all the requirements for the D7 retirement visa.
I was outside that door just kind of doing the fun stuff. Looking at apartment rent prices, looking at Coimbra and Aveiro and Figueira da Foz and where all these different cities were. And then seeing how nice they were and how similar Figueira da Foz looked to where we lived in St. Augustine. Mirroring where we lived made it more comfortable for me to think I could live in 2 places, especially if they're so similar.
When you got the visas and you moved, what was that like?
I ended up cleaning it out and it was over. There was a lot of just shuttering. Shuttering up our life. Shuttering the doors to our life and getting a one way ticket to Portugal.
Except the house. We didn’t sell it. There was no packing. I always call it the Anchor. Our base camp. In case it didn't work out.
Why would we give up a house? Why would we do that if things might not work out? Where would we go? How do you do that?
The house wouldn't get sold for another 3 years.
What would you say has been the hardest adjustment to life in Portugal for you?
I can't talk my head off because I don't speak the language. It's a blessing and a curse.
Especially during COVID lockdown. We were in a new country and I couldn’t learn the language because I wasn't able to leave my house. I was very upset with my husband. Where's my friends? Where's my community? I’ve got earphones in and I'm learning to listen to people who just chat all day on live streaming because I need to hear people talking in English. And I find the English movie channels. I'm doing my best to comfort my mind because I'm missing talking.
It was so isolating on the 90 day trip. I didn't speak French. I didn't speak any foreign language. Paul could speak French, so he got through the 90 day eurorail trip so much at ease. I'm freaking out. I'm hearing my own voice in my head because I can't be distracted by people talking. Eavesdropping is not a thing when you don’t understand the language.
So the language barrier is the issue to this day. Am I doing better? Yes, I'm doing so much better. I’ve been working at it because I have a love for the country and a respect for the people. I'm going to keep working at it.
Are you glad that you moved to Portugal?
Yes, I’m relieved. Every day grateful. Nobody could take a crystal ball and look at why, but maybe my husband did have the idea that this is where and why and how we would be here. And I had to trust him. And because I trusted him, I can be grateful for all that we did and we're still doing.
I wake up loving my life more than I ever could have desired.
If you could go back and have a conversation with yourself in 2016, knowing what you know now. What would you say to yourself?
Start packing your things. Mark those boxes well. Get rid of all the stuff you don't need. Throw those things away. Toss it, donate it. You're not going to use all that paint and you can't take it with you. Find the things that are meaningful and either take them or give them to people that will appreciate them. Get your artwork—there's somebody holding on to a lot of my artwork from college. Figure out what you're going to do. The things that are important—objects and material goods that matter to you? Start paying attention, Jackie, because this is a one-way trip.
And don't be afraid. Let go of the fear. Everything's going to be all right. Portugal is not that far away. If you can take a 10 hour trip across state lines, you can get on a plane for 10 hours. It's no different. You’re not flying to the moon. Don't be afraid. It's not that big a deal. Relax and be adventurous.
You know you're saving your husband's life. You're going to do something that nobody in any generation of your family has done since landing in America. So make this experience count. Your son is going to talk about this and his grandchildren are all going to talk about how “Oh yeah, we have our family's house in Portugal. And they're there. And it's now part of our history, our life, and our family's history.”
I would tell myself that. Be proud. Be excited. And learn Portuguese. Practice your Portuguese now.
Was there a moment when it hit you: “Okay, this is home. I know what I did is right.”
Yes. I love this. I went into a grocery store and I was very nervous. I'm here at this grocery store. What am I going to buy? What am I going to find? What are we going to eat? And how am I gonna even know how to read this stuff. What do they want me to do with this bag of fruit? Do I walk up to the lady and let her weigh it and put a sticker on it?
So I am freaking out inside. I am sad. I am lonely. I am torn. And I look up and lo and behold, there is Philadelphia cream cheese. The whole entire aisle is filled with Philadelphia cream cheese. I started crying. I’m born and raised in the suburbs of Philadelphia, Bucks County. And I was like, Philadelphia cream cheese! I'm okay. I'm gonna be okay.
I saw Philadelphia and I took it as a sign. I call these signs “mile markers” or “flags.” Things that are telling you that you're on the right path. Signposts. And that whole thing of Philadelphia cream cheese was like, You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine.
Good news! If you want to connect with Jacqueline, you follow her on Instagram at: @rockartstudio
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WHAT ELSE DID WE TALK ABOUT?
Jacqueline and I talked about a lot of other things, including:
Her epic struggle with wanting so badly to stay in Florida and pursue her career while also wanting to respect her husband’s desire (and decision) to move abroad.
What their family said when they told them they were moving. And the promises they made their families that Jacqueline says they were out of their minds to make.
What she misses the most about her life in the US.
What they brought with them in their suitcases.
And what they had shipped to them 4 years later when they sold their home in Florida. Also, why they hired someone to pack up their home instead of traveling back to the US to do it themselves.
Her advice for anyone doing a scouting trip to a country to help them decide if they want to live there. It’s advice I hadn’t heard before, but it makes a lot of sense if you can do it.
Navigating the Portuguese residency visa process, the Portuguese healthcare system, and why Paul’s age was a factor in both of these hurdles and in getting a mortgage for a home in Portugal.
Why having access to healthcare was important to them and how they found doctors, even when they were traveling in Holland on a tourist visa.
How she found friends and community.
How they were able to financially make the move overseas and how Jacqueline was able to start a business in Portugal.
What gives her reverse culture shock. And what she did on her most recent trip to the US that she needed to prepare funding for.
And, why she has no regrets about starting a new life with her husband in Portugal.
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Did Jacqueline’s story resonate with you? Got a question about something we discussed (or didn’t)? Curious about moving to Portugal?
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