Moving Abroad Feels Like Skywalking

Plus, The Expat Diaries is evolving. New conversations, deeper connections, and snacks that are optional, but definitely encouraged.

I honestly didn’t think this was going to be a big deal.

I’m not afraid of heights.

Not afraid of glass.

Not afraid of walking.

This should have been easy.

Narrator: But it was not easy.

I was in Madeira on holiday and I broke my #1 travel rule: Never take a tour bus anywhere.

Why would I do this? Well. I wanted to go to these super cool looking lava pools on the other side of the island and taking a tour bus was a lot cheaper than renting a car or relying on a taxi situation that might leave me stranded on the other side of the island after a long day of lava pool soaking.

I booked the tour bus.

And that was the beginning of my day of scary things.

Scary thing #1:

Not actual footage of the trip to the lava pools. But a fairly accurate representation of the events that unfolded that fateful day.

Um… it’s possible the bus driver wasn’t actually licensed.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything about licensing.

I do know that when driving on windy cliff-adjacent roads, going slower seems way better than going faster.

I didn’t speak any Portuguese back then, so I couldn’t explain this to the driver.

Also? I shouldn’t have to explain this to the driver, right?

Scary thing #2:

The lava pools were closed. But, the driver dumped us off there anyway.

And DROVE AWAY.

Was he coming back? When was he coming back? Why did he leave us here? What are we supposed to do now?

I didn’t know.

The three students from Holland who were on the bus with me didn’t know.

So we just sat there with our unused swimsuits and towels and waited.

Before we died of dysentery, he came back.

And took us to scary thing #3:

The Madeira Skywalk.

I did not know this was on the tour. But since this entire thing had been a complete wildcard? I was now ready for anything.

We pull up. The driver parks. He gets out with us and walks us over to edge of the cliff. Where we catch our first glimpse of the skywalk. A glass walkway jutting out over the Atlantic.

Then the dude points at it and kind of nods his head like we should proceed to walk on it.

Fine.

I get the concept. No problem.

I’m gonna walk out there.

See what there is to see.

And then come back, get on the bus, and go back to my hotel so I can put on my swimsuit and swim in the (not a lava) pool.

Off I go. Out onto a piece of glass hanging off the side of one of the highest cliffs in Europe, dangling 580 meters above the sea.

No idea what a meter is? Imagine standing on top of a 175 story building made of saran wrap and looking straight down at your feet.

Honest to god, I only got about 3 steps out when my brain just said, “Nope, no sir, this is not your destiny.”

I could not talk my legs into going any further. My brain had gone to some strange self-protection zone that was neither fight nor flight. It was more like freeze and freak.

Internally, of course. I am not the kind of woman who loses her composure in public.

And yet.

I could not talk myself into it.

Scary thing #3 won the day.

Why am I telling you this?

Because moving abroad and starting a whole new life can feel a lot like stepping out onto the glass.

Thrilling.

Terrifying.

And wondering if it’s really worth it.

That’s the whole reason I started The Expat Diaries. To be a place where you hear real stories, find new friends, and catch a glimpse of what life could be like on the other side of the world.

• For anyone standing on the edge of that decision, wondering Should I go? Could I really do it? There’s comfort in hearing what it’s actually been like for someone who has.

• For those of us who’ve already made the move and are out here scattered across continents and time zones? It’s grounding to hear the stories of others doing the same. The highs, the lows, the weird in-betweens.

  There’s a quiet solidarity to it. A sense of being seen. And it’s fun to imagine: What if I lived there instead of here?

The initial idea was for this to be a place where we could share stories of what it’s like to move abroad and start a new life in a new country. And that’s still the idea.

But I’ve been thinking about other ways we can have these conversations about leaving home and finding home.

And I’m adding some things to The Expat Diaries that I hope you’ll love.

THE INTERVIEWS | CONVERSATIONS

I love the interviews and the conversations I’ve been having with people who’ve made the move and have been so generous in sharing their experiences and advice. I want to continue having those conversations and sharing them.

THE STORIES

🌎 “Dear Me, From Here: Letters to Our Past Selves”: It’s a monthly guest essay series, featuring writers from around the world sharing heartfelt, honest, and sometimes hilarious letters to their pre-move abroad selves. The surprises, the lessons, and the moments they'd love to share with their younger selves about what happened after they crossed the border.

🌎 Personal essays: Occasional posts about my personal experience living in Portugal (where I am now). And probably some stories about when I lived in Vietnam or the year or so when I was housesitting around Europe or any of the random other places I visited and put down a security deposit on an apartment when I was trying to figure out where I was going to call “home.”

🌎 Monthly book club devoted exclusively to reading memoirs of life abroad.

Think: “A Year of Living Danishly” by Helen Russell and “A House in Fez” by Suzanna Clarke and “A Moveable Feast” by Ernest Hemingway. There are so many good ones we could discuss.

Because if you’re anything like me, these kinds of books are what get me really dreaming about living somewhere new.

And also? Because how fun would a life-abroad-memoirs book club be!
Super fun, I think.

If you’re up for this, check out the PS for July’s book and the details on how you can join the discussion (cocktails and snacks optional, but encouraged).

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Spoiler: If you’d rather discuss the book in real time instead of trying to follow a comments section AND you’d like to be part of choosing our future reads? Becoming a paid subscriber ($5/month) gets you exclusive access to our private, unrecorded Zoom discussions where the most wonderful conversations are happening and the best connections are being made.

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Listen, if we can learn anything from the Madeira Skywalk it's that things that are scary can also be fun if you can get over the fear and get yourself out on the glass.

At least, that’s what the students from Holland told me.

They went all the way out to the edge and I could see them laughing and jumping up and down and looking over the edge like it was nothing at all to be defying gravity over the Atlantic Ocean.

Me, green with envy and terror (and possibly some leftover dysentery), waving at the students from Holland.

Your friend who apparently cannot walk on glass,
Vivian

PS. Here’s July’s book club pick: “A Thousand Days in Venice” by Marlena de Blasi.

I first read it before I moved to Italy in 2007 and I remember reading it over and over again, underlining parts that I thought were just so beautifully written. I also remember wondering if this was what my life in Italy could look like.

Years (and whole lifetimes) later, I’ve been itching to read it again. Will it still resonate so deeply? Or will I be like, Why did I love this book so much?

We’ll see.

Here’s what you need to know about the book club.

Anyone can join. At the beginning of the month, I’ll announce the book so you can start reading.

The LIVE group discussion for paid subscribers will happen on the last Sunday of the month.

• This discussion will not be recorded because I want everyone to feel comfortable participating in the conversation without feeling like their innermost thoughts and opinions are being posted on the world wide web.

• Paid subscribers will receive an email inviting them to join the private Zoom.

• Paid subscribers will also get to vote for the next month’s book.

In my post the Saturday after the LIVE discussion, I’ll share what resonated with me about the book and we’ll have a wide open comments section for all subscribers to share their thoughts.

If you want to join the LIVE Zoom discussion and vote on next month’s book, it’s only $5/month.

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Because leaving home is hard. Talking to people who've done it makes it feel less overwhelming. And more fun.